• Welcome to The Salty Box, a forum to discuss everything related to Marine & Reef Fish keeping in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to be able to join in discussions with others.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon

How forums are run...........

Whipitup

Registered
Taken from another forum I frequent, and long but in parts a very funny read:

The short answer to this question is either “no-one” or “you are” depending on why you are asking. Due to recent shenanigans it’s been suggested a longer answer is also required and should be published. Here it is. The majority of you know this already & many more of you don’t give a **** but for those who do want to know and are new, or were asleep last time this came up, I’ve written this.

Before I start I’m writing this OK? Me, Dave, current committee member but well known ****-up , awkward ******* and ****-taker. So before you ask this is not some huge procedural document that’s been scanned by lawyers and ratified by the UN, it’s not cast in stone and unchangeable and it’s almost certainly full of my mistakes, errors and omissions. Feel free to point them out and I might fix ‘em or I might tell you to **** off. Don’t take offence, I just like telling people to **** off.

Here goes.

Early on, because of where we started from, it was decided that this place would never be under the control of a single untouchable individual or even a group of individuals. Instead it would be run by a committee and that committee would be voted in by the membership and then kicked out and new people voted in at regular intervals.

The job of the committee has been the subject of much interesting debate recently but in general and in theory it works like this: The committee is there to oversee the smooth running of the place day-to-day and come up with "procedures" and rules should they be needed. The place is actually "run" day to day by the Moderators and Admins. The Mods move stuff you put in the wrong place, change the titles when you accidently give away the result of a race no-one else has seen and edit your posts / kick you in the balls when you come in ****** from the pub and start swearing at everybody. The moderators are the policemen and the committee appoints the mods and then "polices the policemen" to make sure they behave. The admins are also appointed by the committee and they actually do all the real work around the place, making sure it's bandwidth doesn't get chewed by mice, the backups don't actually consist entirely of Russian porn and that no-one ever presses "yes" when someone accidently opens the "Delete whole database, are you sure?" pop-up box.

That's the theory. In practice there are a few differences. Firstly no-on can actually "appoint " the admins because it's actually a real job that requires real techie-geekie-skills-things, quite a lot of actual real work and can't be easily swapped around. So you have to lump the ones you have. Thankfully they've been pretty well behaved so far and apart from the odd ****-up the place runs as smooth as Skids baldy head. How I'm not so sure 'cos they never get any thanks or recognition from anyone for this thankless task and if I were them I'd have taken the hump long ago. So I'll do it now:

applause.gif
applause.gif
applause.gif
Admin types.


The second and probably most important difference between theory and reality is you lot. Because you are (mostly) all mature and sensible adults the place basically runs itself and 98% of the time the staff do ******-all. So the mods don't mod, the committee don't have to mod the mods and the sum total of "procedures" and rules devised by the committee so far in next-to-****** all. (We did once get the admin to make sure the “Alert Moderator “ button worked and went to the right people, so we’re not completely useless, honest) Indeed on most of the occasions when we've actually had to do anything it is down to a ****-up by one of us "staff" but then the fun begins!

When there’s a ****-up we have to waste hours explaining, grovelling for forgiveness and generally sorting out the mess that ensues because the sharp-eyed, razor keen membership spot it straight away and (correctly) call us to account. Sadly some of said membership are not only correctly keen-eyed and razor witted but deeply suspicious and love a good conspiracy theory. This leads to an even bigger mess as they automatically assume someone is up to something they shouldn’t be, rather than just making a balls of it. Why they would be “up to” anything has yet to be explained because there is nothing for anyone to gain but that doesn’t stop a good conspiracy theorist. Then, of course, you’ve got those who simply like to make a fuss & be awkward *******s and any mistakes by the staff are an ideal opportunity for them to get stuck right in, calling people for all sorts, always assuming and predicting the worst and dragging up arguments that were put to bed years ago.

Still, no-one ever said it would be easy and if you are not prepared to deal with that flak and explain yourself as best you can to all those groups of people, no matter how bloody-minded and cantankerous they may be, then don’t volunteer to be on the staff.

The third and final difference between committee theory and committee reality is this: I’ve made it sound like there are rigid boundaries between the groups of staff, the committee do one thing, the mods do another and so-on. In reality of course that’s not the case because there’s so few people to start with, a lot of overlap in the roles (mainly due to the way the software works) and so little for us to do most of the time that when anything actually happens everyone wants in on the action! So most issues are actually discussed by most of the people most of the time and some compromise reached.

So who are these mystery creatures of the forum night and how do they communicate without you noticing? Sonar? Bat-calls? No, it is of course the much talked about and much feared (by some) –HIDDEN BOARDS! – Cue manic “HAHA HA!” laughter. There are always going to be some issues that are too delicate, too personal to someone or simply too “grey” to be discussed publicly by all the members. So the staff need some way of talking these issues through without sending hundreds of secret-squirrel PMs. Some examples: A member has been doing something they really shouldn’t and sanctions are needed. You simply can’t discuss that on open board. Or the site is under legal attack from the fat fanny again. You can’t discuss that on open board. Or there’s an otherwise simple but “grey” issue that needs a decision made – the name of a new section say – but if it’s discussed in open board there’ll be so many ideas and opinions that consensus will never be reached. Talking about these issues is what the staff are tasked to do and they use the hidden boards to do it.

There are three hidden boards:
Admin
Committee
Moderators Discussion

All the mods can see the mods discussion. The committee and admin can also see it because
A – That’s the way the software works
And
B – The Committee need to be able to see it to “police the policemen”

The committee board can only be seen by the committee and admin, not the mods. The admin can see it simply because of the way the software works. No-one can see the admin board except the admin so **** knows what they talk about on there, presumably the size of their RAM sticks or something.

In practice very little ever gets discussed on the committee board; Only the most secret squirrel stuff and even then it tends to start life there before the idea is thrown to the ravenous mods for a feeding frenzy of sarcasm and ****-taking. Or sometimes, just sometimes, one of us will go into that quiet room for a proper stand-up, stress relieving scream at what one of you *****s has been up to now that we are going to have to “deal” with.

So 99% of stuff gets discussed on the Mods board before a consensus is reached, a decision made and we all live happily ever after. 99% sounds like a lot but of course in practice, most of the time, it’s 99% of ******-all. Nothing much normally happens so nothing much normally needs to be discussed. Those conspiracy theorists amongst you who are determined that “we” spent hours and hours plotting and planning in secret would, I’m afraid, be somewhat underwhelmed by the lack of material to get your teeth into if you actually went onto the mods board. Pity really, a good overthrow-the-government secret plot on there would give me something to write about but frankly, we don’t have the time for plotting, “real-life” ™ keeps presenting us with far better things to do with our time.

That’s the structure and the only thing left for me to do is to introduce you to the characters who actually do (or don’t) do the “work” (I use the word in loosest possible sense). I hope to **** I don’t forget anyone, they’ll shout at me. They are, in no order whatsoever:

Moderators:
Alan Sharkey
Royston Rocket
Odie
Slah
Levelrob
AlvinLee

Committee members:
GreenVFR
Ibbo
Boris
Skids
Brains

Admin Assistants
Brains
GFB

Full Admins
Gaucho (On who’s servers the whole thing runs. The day he spills beer on it we are in deep ****)
Min
Dingle

So if you have a problem, a question or even, just maybe, a compliment you either use the “Alert Moderator” button or PM one of those characters and they’ll do what they can for you. If you don’t like the answer you get, feel free to canvas some of the others. If however they have heard your pleas, discussed it amongst themselves and told you, officially and properly, “No” then please accept that whatever you’re asking either can’t be done or really isn’t a good idea, and stop bitchin’ and going on about it. Thanks awfully, there’s a good chap.

That’s it. That’s how the Snug is “Run” and why it’s run that way. Further questions will be answered right here. Pointless moaning that you don’t like it belongs in another thread, preferably on another website. I can suggest a couple if you are stuck.
evil.gif
 

TigerIssey

Registered
Thats actually quite amusing and a very good read.

Not sure the admin definitions are quite right though pmsl :taunt::taunt:
 
Top